My Review of Vampires Suck

A lot of you have probably seen this movie, but it was new to me! Vampires Suck was a recent Dollar Tree purchase, and guess what? It was well worth a dollar! Dollar Tree has had some great DVD finds lately. Going into this movie, my expectations were low. I'd never heard of it, it cost $1.00, it's a Twilight spoof, and just look at that cover:

Going in with rock bottom expectations can make nearly anything into a fun surprise. Yeah, Vampires Suck is stupid and crass... but I did find myself laughing through the entire thing. If you watched any of the Twilight movies, you'll enjoy watching them get made fun of a bit. Even if you're a fan of Twilight, I think you'd enjoy parts of this. I've seen some of The Twilight Saga. I say "some" because while watching the ones I was coerced into watching, I did fall asleep off and on. But I guess I was awake enough and remembered enough to still get the jokes in this.

The actors chosen for the roles of Edward, Bella, and Jacob were actually pretty spot on! The girl who plays Bella (in this case, Becca) somehow managed to get all of Kristen Stewart's twitches and tics down perfectly.

Only slightly exaggerated

Edward Cullen is this time named Edward Sullen, which seems fitting. I found this nifty little side by side to show how he and Jacob match up to the originals:

The writers behind Vampires Suck made fun of a lot of the parts of Twilight that had confused me. Such as... Why would one average girl in particular be the focus of so much male attention, and paranormal attention at that? Why on earth would she choose the sulking guy who gives a million mixed signals instead of the nice, supportive guy (who is a lot better looking in my opinion)? Why would her father be oblivious to pretty much everything? Seriously, that man was nice, but vacant.

Speaking of Bella's father in Twilight, I was so happy to see a familiar face playing him in the spoof:

Unfortunately, the only evidence I could find of him in the film is this gif of him being maced. You should see the rest of this scene!

Do you remember Diedrich Bader from his time on The Drew Carrey Show? How about his role as Rex in Napoleon Dynamite? He's so funny, especially in the Vampires Suck bloopers. And how about Señor Chang from Community here as some sort of head vampire?

I must have slept through the parts of the Twilight movies where whatever character he's spoofing appeared, because I didn't get it. But who cares? Ken Jeong is hilarious! I didn't need to be in on the joke to find him funny.

OK, it's a little weird to hear him talking about his role so seriously, but that explains that. It's possible that I just enjoy watching these two and it doesn't matter what they're doing. I could happily watch Diedrich Bader or Ken Jeong read a grocery list.

So this is probably one of those movies I should be embarrassed to find funny, and there were moments during it when I was half ashamed of myself for laughing, but sometimes it's fun to watch a movie that isn't trying to be anything remotely high brow. Pretty much any cheap laugh possible was used. I happen to be of the so-bad-it's-good school, so I say, if you've seen enough of Twilight to understand half these jokes, get over to Dollar Tree and see if there's a copy of this left! 

P.S. I think this movie was written by some of the same people who wrote the Scary Movie franchise. I've never watched any of those, but now I'm thinking I should. Any thoughts?